The Official Disclaimer Page by Bob Craypoe

Advertisers: will not take responsibility for any ads placed on our site by
our advertisers.  In other words, letís say we display a banner ad for a certain restaurant chain and you go have some of the fine seafood dishes listed on their menu.  But then you suddenly find it running through you like water through a screen.  Uh oh, you have food poisoning!  Well itís not our fault.  Are we supposed to be there to taste it for you?  Why donít we just pay the bill when youíre done too?  Why not even pay for the gas you use while driving on your way to the place?  Hey, we could even send your kids through college!

Any jokes we make or attempt are not directed towards any specific individual or group.  Nor are they intended to cause severe emotional distress.  Letís say we make a joke about pottery (chose that subject at random) and you say: ďMy father was a potter and he was killed when his kiln explodedĒ, then you suddenly burst into tears and start sobbing like your little heart has been broken.  Well we didnít kill him!  We didnít even make the pottery that was in the kiln and we werenít even present when it blew up!  We didnít even know the guy! 

Characters: Not one character presented on this site is intended to bear any likeness to any individual known to man.  No matter how coincidental any likeness may be to someone you know or love.  Letís say that we have a cartoon character that's chubby and he looks a lot like your Uncle George.  Or should we use the more politically correct term for chubby?  Like pleasantly plump, big boned or jolly?  Okay, letís say that the aforementioned jolly looking fellow bears a remarkable resemblance to your very fat and unsightly Uncle George.  Then you get all upset because your Uncle George recently choked to death while mulching on a twelve-foot sub.   So what if he choked on it! It wasn't our fault!  We didnít even know the guy, and he was obviously in poor health due to his obesity. He should have taken human bites! I mean, why didn't you put the sub in a trough so he could have eaten it like a real pig? But please accept our condolences anyway.  Even if itís not our fault. Which it isn't.

Some of our columns have mock (that means fake) letters contained within them, presented only for comedic value.  We wouldnít want you to get all upset and break down because your faith in mankind was shattered due to the fact that we presented a letter that wasnít real.  Relax, itís not that big a deal!

Insults to your intelligence:
We apologize for any article, feature or joke contained within this site that may appear to be an insult to your intelligence.   Our occasional condescending tone, pitiful attempts at humor and poor usage of the English language, are merely by-products of our general lack of upbringing.

We make absolutely no guarantees of satisfaction regarding the quality, usefulness, or value of any information contained on our site. We can at least say that, in all likelihood, the information is probably worthless.

Closing statement:
I hope that we have covered ourselves enough to effectively ward off any potential lawsuit filed by anyone out to make a quick buck.  Or even a slow buck, due to lengthy litigation.  Youíll just have to work for a living like the rest of us!   


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