No Loitering Signs:
You know what gets me? Well clean the wax outta yer ears, cuz I aims to tell ya! "No Loitering" signs. It’s like the other day when I was drivin’ down the road and I seen my cousin Billy Bob’s pickup truck parked outside the Stop and Go Deli. I recognized it by the "Redneck and Proud" bumper sticker. Well I aint seen him since the hog callin’ contest at the county fair. So I says to myself: "That just has to be Billy Bob’s truck, I just knows it!" So I stopped and went in to talk to him. We was-a-talkin’ ‘bout how his wife, Daisy Lou, left him fer a feller with money. One of them sissyfied, tie wearin’ types that speaks all in proper English. Like we is supposed to be impressed by that. So now she thinks she’s all-a-too good fer Billy Bob cuz he makes his livin’ cashin’ in returnable bottles. It aint like there aint a need for such a service. But then all-a-sudden the owner of the place points to a "No Loitering " sign, like we is just a loiterin’ around doin’ nuttin’. I says "Hold on, I’ll be gone in just a minute. Don’t get yer frickin’ long johns in a bunch!" He was actin’ like he was expectin’ us to scatter like roaches when you turn the light on, just-a-cuz he points to a little sign. But then he was-a-lookin’ like he was gettin’ all steamed up like a clam on the half-shell. So he says to me: "You know, we expect our customers to wear shirts" and he points to a sign that says "No shirts, No shoes, No service!" I figure it aint no big deal cuz I didn’t want any service, I was just there to talk to Billy Bob anyhow. Like me leaning over freshly baked pastries with no shirt on is gonna hurt somethin’. So I had to leave cuz the feller just had no class at all. Well, the police officer he called also told me to leave. But I still have my principles.

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